Stuff Zig Iggs: Making Lists of Animals She Will One Day Own

Every once in awhile, as we sit around the Kingsland-Eddy table, mindlessly picking cat hair off of our clothing, we get into the discussion of "what animal do you someday want to have?" The conversation starts mundanely enough. Lifetime cat-people, my sister and I generally start with dogs. She wants a corgi. I want-- well, I'll get to that. However, my end of the conversation quickly devolves into many, many, many animals. A veritable menagerie. And, by God, I will own these critters!

So, for 2011, 11 animal varieties I will someday have!

1) A Scottish Deerhound

I used to be an Irish Wolfhound kind of girl, but, for whatever reason, these guys jut appeal to me more. Maybe it's the fact that they're the royal dog of Scotland. Maybe it's the perfected combination of a wolfhound and a greyhound. Maybe I'm just hesitant that a wolfhound would eat me. (Speaking of which, does anyone know if these guys eat cats?)

2) A Vietnamese Pot Belly Pig

These piggies are so cute. Look at that fat, smushy face. Also, I'm pretty sure I could ride them into battle. Effectively. Come on, an armored Pot Belly Pig? How magical would that be?

3) A Horse

Because, at heart, I am still a six-year-old girl.

4) A Sphynx Cat

I have already extolled the virtues of hairless animals,
so, Constant Reader(s?), you know my feelings on them. However my love for hairless animals began with the Sphynx. I'm a big tactile person, and they just look so touchable. Also, cats hide a lot under all that fur. And by a lot, I mean their insecurities. This guy? He ain't got nothin' to hide.

5) A Goat

I think goats resonate with me on some deep, intrapersonal level. We're similar creatures. Misunderstood. Strangely cute. Clever. Loud. Obnoxious. A little smelly. Also, the are the living incarnation of Jim Henson creatures.

6) Chickens

All 'dem. All 'dem, now.

7) A Sugar Glider

Oh, come one. Who wouldn't want a sugar glider?

8) A Kyole

These guys toe the line between adorable and noble with expert ease. I can never decide if I want to patronize them with animalese, or paint overwrought landscapes featuring them.

9) A Peacock

When I was at Cardiff Castle in Wales, I noticed that they had peacocks. I didn't realize this was a possibility. Now, I want peacocks too. (A side note, have any Mainers been to the Maine Wildlife Park? Have you seen the albino peacock? Have you seen how the other peacocks beat up on him? Peacock prejudice? He's just an albino jerk? Thoughts?)

10) A Belgian Hare

Personally, I think Belgian Hares fulfill my secret desire to own Cwig as a pet. Look how skinny, long-legged, and judgmental they are? Just like the lad. Also, they are the inspiration for LCdL. Octopus-punchers, they are.

Long story short? I'm going to be a candidate for a bizarre episode of Fatal Attractions.

An addendum: In my web-browsing travels, I found this terrifying image:

I know, right?