Stuff Zig Iggs: Acrostic Poems about Martha Stewart

Manic

Artist,

Read to me

The "Good Things."

How can you guess that these

Are like manna from OCD Heaven?

Zig Iggs It: Eduard Khil + Tarako

I apologize for my sub-par video editing products. All the same-- happy holidays.

Stuff Zig Iggs: Japanese Food

So, I stumbled across the justhungry blog post about 100 Japanese foods all eaters-of-eatables should eat. It inspired me for a variety of reasons. Firstly, I'm bored. Secondly, I love lists. Thirdly, as a lover of vegetables, fish, slimy things, and food in small pieces, I've got a giant spot in my heart/stomach for Japanese cuisine. Accordingly, I'm reposting items from the (extensive!) list, and adding my two cents about iggness, as it were. If you go to the original blog post, you'll have a very helpful index of these foods. Here goes:

ZIG's EDIT OF A List of 100 Japanese Foods To Try At Least Once

misoshiru
Yes, misoshiru is perhaps the simplest, most basic Japanese food item after rice. However, much like rice, its simplicity means it can be done really well and really, really badly. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to frequent the Nishiki market (in the terumachi shopping district) and the miso shop in the market. This miso paste was thick, fragrant, rich, and beautifully colored. During my time in Japan, I sample every variety they had at least three or four times (at least). The extra expense was so worth it. Excellent ingredients = excellent cooking. Simple as that. Nishiki market also brings me to...

nukazuke
I think they're pickled with bran, which gives them a very distinctive, erm, aroma. Not my favorite Japanese pickle, but, everytime I went to Nishiki, the proprieter of the nukazuke stand would give me, literally, pounds of nukazuke to take home for free. I learned to love it.

"Very fresh sanma (saury), sizzling hot from the grill, eaten with a drizzle of soy sauce and a mound of grated daikon radish"
As a broke ryuugakusei who could find her way around in the kitchen, I avoided eating out at expensive restaurants whilst in Japan. However, on my first night in Kyoto, a group of friends and I did visit a relatively "nice" restaurant. Budget minded, I had the grilled sanma, rice, soup, and the house pickles. Best part of the meal? A drunk business man bought it for me. Yaaaaaaaay.

Homemade umeboshi
I love sour. Love love love sour. Homemade umeboshi? SUPPAI.

Mentaiko
I love me some fish eggs. And, when they look like weird little tongues? So much better than caviar.

Mugicha
On a steamy summer day, there is nothing like ice cold mugicha. I tried not to guzzle this tea, which is roasty and savory, but it was difficult. Notably difficult.

Ika no shiokara
Mmm... squid bits in fermented stuff. Yep. It's amazing. But I love all things salty and savory. And you people probably eat the cow piss that is cheese, so hush up.

Yamakake
Grated yam is super slimy and, therefore, super delicious. I had it on pretty much everything-- on top of soba it is particularly amazing. Extra sliminess? Go for it on maguro. Yizzum.

Omuraisu
Rice folded into an omelet is pretty ingenious. What's even better? Pretending you're the hobo from tanpopo while you make it. And then decorating it with a catsup smiley face.

Ishi yakiimo
Sweet potatoes and I have a long, bittersweet romance. However, grilled sweet potatoes served from that huge food market in Osaka? Oh yes.

Natto
Hey... hey-- what do you call a soybean with a bad reputation?

...

NATTORIOUS.


Ikura
So pretty, so colorful, and so delightfully weird to pop in your mouth. Kinda like edible bubble wrap.

Inarizushi
Frankly, I do not care for inarizushi, but it reminds me of the inari fushimi shrine, where I was engaged.

Surume
Squid jerky > any other jerky ever. Has anyone ever seen the Korean movie The Host? The protagonist carries around a giant piece of dried squid. It looks so, so, so good. Some people like popsicles. I like squerky.

Yakinasu with grated ginger
I love eggplant, and this is, to me, a really novel approach to it. Grilled, skinned, iced, and served with simple condiments is elegant in a very simple way.

Spinach ohitashi
Again, simplicity is sometimes the best part of a national cuisine. And so I give you blanched spinach with a simple dressing. Made by a host okaasan? Derish.

Okonomiyaki
Please. Someone. Open a DIY okonomiyaki in a place near me? Please? Best memories of Japan. Except for the waiter/waitress looming with the GIANT ladle of mayonnaise. I have an incredible fear of mayonnaise that Japan only compounded.

Yakitori
Chicken. On a stick. Sweet. Salty. Would not trust it from matsuri vendors.

Takoyaki
Little batter-balls stuffed with creamy octopus goodness? And negi? And takoyaki sauce? Possibly the best food Japan offers. Yeah. I went there. Again... maybe not so much from the matsuri vendors. On more than one occasion, I saw a vendor leaning over a big pot of takoyaki batter... cigarette-in-mouth, ash-very-much-falling-into-batter. Mmm!

Goya champuruu
Bizarrely enough, this was the first thing I made for myself while in Hikone. Regionality. I did it wrong. I think I was just excited to find the right ingredients.

Dorayaki
Little pancake gong things... lots of potential for cute.

Ochazuke
Again with the simplicity-- well-done rice, some modest toppings, and hot tea. Nothing better, especially during a rain storm.

Mitarashi dango
Seriously, the Japanese totally win on desserts. Now, if only they'd stop with the terrible version of Western baked goods...

Nama yatsuhashi
Do yourself a favor... if you're ever in Kyoto, head to Nishiki (which you should do anyways) and find the nama yatsuhashi shop. They're one of kyoto's oldest (the oldest?) confections, and they are amazing. You can see the cooking process and get all broke-tourist over free samples...

Narazuke
The oldest pickle? I think so. Irregardless, a speciality of Nara. Beware the deer.

Aji no himono
Mmmm... dried, salted, and sugared fishies.

Kamaboko
SPIRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oyako donburi
Mother and child rice bowl... meaning, chicken and egg rice bowl.

and my own addition...

KABOCHA. In any way, shape, or degree of cookedness. (Ask Cwig, I will eat it raw-- even though this is probably unnecessarily cruel to my stomach.) One of the cutest things to do with it? I made up Kabocha-balls-- roast a kabocha (darkest green skin you can find), scoop out the innards, mash said innards and seasons with soy and rice vinegar, roll into tiny little balls, rolls balls around in nori flakes/bonito flakes/sesame seeds, and enjoy. Delicious. Adorable. Slightly suggestive.

Zig Iggs It: Hairless Animals

Sometimes I think my instincts/qualities as a mammalian animal are out of whack. I hate/cannot digest milk. I don't get the appeal of the whole glandular thing. You know-- I don't even like the occipital condyles. But, most of all, I think all animals are made better when they are hairless. Why? I dunno. Things are just cuter when they're hairless. I mean, just look at Glam Rock.* Not cute. Sankai juku? Precious moments.







Ilan Hall is perhaps the one glaring exception to this rule. Hosea too, actually. I would say Top Chef breaks the hairless rule, but I love me some Tom. BearForce 1, yes/yes?







* Except for David Bowie, but he's had his hairless moments.

Zig Iggs It: Eduard Khil

Stuff Zig Iggs: Creative Spellers

I co-habitate with what I affectionately dub a "creative speller." This results in some of the most amazing words ever uttered in the quasi-English language. I give you:

angnolament: (noun) a dirge sung by members of the American Needlepoint Guild; performed in the Gayaki-Ang style

Acknowledg(e)ments to Cwig.

Stuff Zig Iggs: The Miser Brothers

Ah, the Holiday Season. Ah, the Holiday Specials.
Now, if only ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas didn’t translate into 25 Days of Reasons-Why-Holiday-Movies-Are-Confined-to-the-Holidays. Yes, I’m talking about you, Stolen Miracle. Or you, Holiday in Handcuffs. (Oh, Melissa Joan Hart-- what have you become? Clarissa really can’t explain it all, can she?) But, mired in the muck of horrendously shitty “movies” masquerading as good-intentioned “Seasonal Specials”, there are Classics with a capital C. The Muppet Christmas Carol. It’s a Wonderful Life. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Home Alone. Hell, I’ll even extend these accolades to The Polar Express (which, I admit, terrifies me). What is it about the Holiday season that has so polarized the film industry? Why are they capable of producing only gold or garbage? These are questions that, potentially, entail a much larger philosophical debate. Moreover, they distract from my primary concern-- the claymation Christmas movies.

Ah yes, the Rankin-Bass classics of yore. Lovingly crafted. Nostalgic. Chocked full of obvious musical numbers and even more obvious social agendas. Kinda creepy. Vaguely sinister. Always entertaining. Purveyors of Christmas Specials inevitably have a favorite Rankin-Bass creation. Moreover, these individuals loudly argue for the superiority of their particular film. Championing their movie, people cite animation quality, celebrity power, musical catchiness, volume of unintentional hilarity… the list goes on. However, supporters of that abomination Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you will never convince me. My loyalties lie with The Year without a Santa Claus.

I could sing the praises of the musical numbers (blast you, little-girl-who-sings-I’ll-Have-a-Blue-Christmas-without-You… you get me every year). I could extol the endless comedic value of certain characters’ unabashed bigotry. Or Santa’s whininess. But no. My reason for loving this film, above all others, is singular in a double sort of way.

Why do I love it so much?

Simple. The Miser Brothers.

I don’t know what it is about these guys. I just know that, as a 6 year old, I would put the VHS into the player, fast forward to the Miser Brothers’ songs, watch, rewind, and repeat until family members confiscated the offending tape. I also know that, as a 22 year old, the advances of the DVD have made this process a whole lot easier. And, for cohabitating loved ones, significantly more obnoxious.

I can’t explain the brilliance of the Miser Brothers. Words fail me. Accordingly, I leave you with their raw genius. Enjoy.



Maybe someday you too will be lucky enough to witness The Chin-People Spectacular Present: The Year without a Santa Claus. Yes, Virginia, there is a Chin Miser. On my face.

Also, Heat Miser is totally the predecessor of this.

Stuff Cwig Iggs: Craft Beer

Okay, if you know me you know I'm a big fan of craft beer. So while I'm not great at describing the pallet of the brews, I thought I would share some musings on them.

Hobgoblin (Wychwood Brewery) 5.2% ABV

Jeremy Moss, Wychwood's head brewer, describes the drink as "full bodied and well balanced with a chocolate toffee malt flavour, moderate bitterness and a distinctive fruity character with a ruby red glow."

This is one of my favorites-- easily found in any store with a modest craft brew selection, and not too expensive. I often find it in the 500 mL bottles, but it can also be acquired in the standard 6-pack size.

I find that-- given it's richness-- it's best enjoyed during the Autumn or Winter. (It might be a little heavy for typical summer cuisine.) Go Anglo, and sip it with a plate of Bubble and Squeak.

Stuff Zig Iggs: Quoting Annie Wilkes

You know who my heroine is? Kathy Bates. You know Kathy Bates single best role to date? Annie Wilkes. You know what I reference, in my day-to-day life, at least once a day? Thassa right. Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in the film Misery. Misery, while critically acclaimed, is perhaps under-appreciated. (And, by under-appreciated, I am clearly insinuating that everyone should be watching it at least once a week. Seriously, since you watch Paul languish through all four seasons, it is appropriate year-round.) Frankly, I have read King's book (upon which the movie is based), and, while it is good stuff, Kathy Bates out-Annie-Wilkes Annie Wilkes. Anything overwrought or obvious in King's original text, is toned down and crazied up by the faboo Miz Bates (no mean feat for a woman whose lines include screaming "COCKADOODIE!"). Anyways, my favorite K-BAW! (such a Batman sound effect) lines:

At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

Oh, but I don't think Paul, I know.

God I love you.

The rain. Sometimes it gives me the blues.

And, my personal favorite...

I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

(Image credit 2.bp.blogspot.com)

Dear Kathy Bates,
I am your Number One Fan.
Love,
Zig

Stuff Zig Iggs: Pu-erh Tea

I am a dedicated coffee addict. And by dedicated, I mean unrepenting. And by coffee I mean anything but the abysmal sludge that is Tim Horton's. (In all seriousness, I have become somewhat more discerning in my quest for all things bitter, dark, and caffeinated.) And by addict? Well, no fancy explanations for that. If I don't have my morning/afternoon/evening Joe, I get "the Blues" of the Annie Wilkes variety. Until I discovered Pu-erh tea. I know tea connoisseurs can probably give me an armchair history of Pu-erh (so can Wikipedia, wot wot), but, frankly, I am uninterested. (I can't even pronounce "Pu-erh.") I am only interested in the malty, fermented, roasted deliciousness that is Pu-erh tea. Seriously, beverage cravers-- check it out. The only problem? Pu-erh tea boxes are inevitably a) needlessly wordy and b) pretentious. (So, really, we should get along.) However, Numi tea's pedantic product descriptors did prompt Cwig to read it, aloud, in his best Michele Norris voice... and I love me some Michele.