Stuff Zig Iggs: Quoting Annie Wilkes

You know who my heroine is? Kathy Bates. You know Kathy Bates single best role to date? Annie Wilkes. You know what I reference, in my day-to-day life, at least once a day? Thassa right. Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in the film Misery. Misery, while critically acclaimed, is perhaps under-appreciated. (And, by under-appreciated, I am clearly insinuating that everyone should be watching it at least once a week. Seriously, since you watch Paul languish through all four seasons, it is appropriate year-round.) Frankly, I have read King's book (upon which the movie is based), and, while it is good stuff, Kathy Bates out-Annie-Wilkes Annie Wilkes. Anything overwrought or obvious in King's original text, is toned down and crazied up by the faboo Miz Bates (no mean feat for a woman whose lines include screaming "COCKADOODIE!"). Anyways, my favorite K-BAW! (such a Batman sound effect) lines:

At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

Oh, but I don't think Paul, I know.

God I love you.

The rain. Sometimes it gives me the blues.

And, my personal favorite...

I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

(Image credit 2.bp.blogspot.com)

Dear Kathy Bates,
I am your Number One Fan.
Love,
Zig